I do believe those involved should be held accountable but not inside a context of anger or blame. There needs to be a different kind of approach to the investigation.

We need to investigate our society’s inability and unwillingness to make the environmental connection to these cases. Rarely do we deal with the root causes of suicide and a myriad of other social issues that plague our homes, our schools, and our country today.

I believe suicide, especially by young people, is an outcome of a societal condition in which they grow and live, and die when the pain of helplessness and hopelessness is too great.

If there is finger pointing to be done, it should begin by pointing at each of us. We are all responsible and accountable for the world around us by what we do, what we say, and what we tolerate.

I wrote my book U.N.I.Q.U.E.: Growing the Leader Within using more than 27 years training and empowering youth and adult leadership in prevention programs. I chose this path due to a burning passion deep inside to empower extraordinary unstoppable leadership in life.

My career fate was sealed the day my mother died by suicide when I was 23. It was clear to me then, as it is now, there are individual AND environmental factors that lead to such tragedies.

While writing the book on leadership, using a fable of a little lost sheep, and reflecting back upon my career and life, I concluded there are six fundamental leader-friendly gardening practices, we must use to make the world a healthier and safer place for all people to grow and live:

• Be nonjudgmental
• Do not enable
• Use empathy
• Prune gossip
• Eliminate blame
• Eradicate victimization

To support that belief, I created the Leadership Garden Fund “Cultivation Grants.” I did so to emphasize the need for these practices to help stem the destructive behavior we hear about daily in the news. My goal is to empower schools, institutions, churches, and communities to practice these behaviors by creating projects in these categories:

• Inclusion Projects - Be nonjudgmental
• Safe and Healthy Community Projects - Do not enable
• Compassion Projects - Use empathy
• Kindness Projects - Prune gossip
• Accountability Projects - Eliminate blame
• Healing Projects - Eradicate Victimization.

If you were saddened and outraged like me to hear the stories of these two young men, you can turn that energy into something positive. You can join me over at the Leadership Garden Legacy and become a lifetime member of the Leadership Garden Registry. Your membership helps support these projects to do good in the world.

I would like to conclude with this personal message to Carl and Jaheem’s mothers and families all those out to who have experienced this pain.

Give yourself some time to grieve and work through your anger and pain. It is normal and understood by those who have been on this journey before you. I promise there will come a day when you begin to heal and turn this pain into something good.

There is no greater honor to the memory of your loved one than to live your life to make the difference you desire for someone else.

Love,

Debra