Learning to trust others (by trusting yourself)

Due to early life challenges, many people have developed a sense of mistrust of others and themselves.Maybe you've made bad choices in your life, or choices you perceive as wrong for you, that have had consequences that have made life harder. Maybe you've been wronged by someone, or many someone's, and your ability to trust is stunted due to those experiences. Whatever the reason, you can learn to trust again.

Not trusting others is really just a way to express your distrust of your own judgment about others. It is also a form behavior to reinforce a story you have about yourself.

Lacking trust in yourself is a life blocker that can damage your ability to grow and flourish, and can cause you live our life in survival mode. It is imperative that you get to the bottom of your reasons for not trusting people if you want to flourish and thrive.

First, consider that the choices you've made are in the past. They are essentially "sunk costs," a term in business which means the money is spent and cannot be recovered, or the outcome changed. The sunken costs for human trust are the emotional investments of time and heart that can’t be recovered from a relationship or situation.

Yet, human energy is renewable, and when you forgive yourself, you replenish your energy and can move forward again. Seek to examine your trust of others in a new way.  Are you really projecting the lack of trust you have for yourself onto them, or are there real reasons you should not trust the person. Do you need new friends?

If you do find that you've attracted toxic people in your life, you may need to let them go and find new friends, and new interests. If, however, upon self-examination, what you find is that your friends are perfectly fine, it is you that has alienated them due to your enery. You can ask for forgiveness and a chance to start over. 

In order for you to see that your lack of trust may really have little to do with the people currently surrounding you , it will require an honest look and concerted effort to heal open trust wounds, as well as the old scars that serve as the reminder you can not trust anyone.

Finally, have faith - you are a trustworthy person and so are others. It is true that you may find that your trust was misplaced in others, but you do have the appropriate power to deal with it, because now your faith is based upon self-examination and accurate information that will prove worthy of trust it in the end.